For those of you who don't know.....A month ago today I lost my job. After 3.5 years with what I thought was a great company-my "services are no longer needed". I was shocked & devastated-to say the least. I have had up and down days over the course of these weeks. I have applied for hundreds-yes you read that right hundreds of jobs over this time. I have been on 4 different interviews (averaging 1 a week so far). I have cried, I have prayed, I have been frustrated, I have been mad, I have been happy, I have wondered, I have wanted to tell a few people just what I really think about them. However over the course of the last weeks-I have come to know that MY God isn't surprised by this, He knew it was going to happen before I was formed, I have remembered that MY God has always provided for our family, we may not have everything we want, we will/do have everything we need.
You see-we moved to NC almost 4 years ago (May 2008) at that same time I quite a semi decent job to finish school-while Nick handled everything in NC for 6 weeks. Nick took on 2 jobs, both part-time, and went to summer school in a Master Degree course-work. God provide for us then-ever single dime that we needed. Over these 4 years God has provided every dime that Nick has need for his VERY expensive Master's Degree. Yes, we get 50% off because we belong to a southern baptist church however we spend just on schooling (not books) $6000+ a year on his education. Books cost somewhere between $250-$600/semester. There are 3 semesters a year and yes Nick has gone to school every semester except one summer semester since we have been here.
Here we are at the end of Nick's seminary career (at least for his Master's Degree) and we don't own one dime to any student loan service center. That's right you read it right, we don't owe anything for Nick's Master's degree. WHY???? Because we trusted God to provide and HE did.
I say all of this to say that God has been working on me over these weeks and I am sure He will keep working on me. He has shown me that HE is always there, HE has always provide what we need, He is everything I need.
Nick preached this last Sunday at our church and I must admit I was convicted. Yes, something my husband said convicted me (it wasn't him convicting me it was God working through him to convict me). The thing that struck me like a cord is "If I am one of Christ's, why should I NOT suffer?" WOW-I have been thinking I am one of God's so I shouldn't suffer, I shouldn't go through trials, I shouldn't lose a job, I shouldn't do without, I shouldn't, I shouldn't, I shouldn't. But why the heck not.....WHY shouldn't I suffer, Why shouldn't I go through trials, Why shouldn't I lose a good job, Why shouldn't I go without my wants. I should do all these things.
And if that wasn't enough in one of my devotions this past week I was convicted to be the best I can be with whatever I do. Yes, I have known this but I haven't always given my best. And what that says to me is I need to be the best momma & wife I can be because that is my JOB. It's my first priority and always has been my top priority. I have been failing at both being a momma and a wife. Not giving Nick my best nor giving Levi the time he needed
With all of that being said: The job loss is a blessing. It gives me the opportunity to get my life back on track with spending time with GOD every single day, praying for people who I say I am praying for, getting my house back organized, cooking more (which I love to do but go slack because not enough time), spending time with Levi, and trying to give Nick my best as his wife.
So, if you think of us over the course of the next weeks...PRAY.
Pray for:
- Nick to finish his last semester strong (May 18, 2012=GRADUATION)
- Job for me (if it be God's will)
- Our Faith
- Our Focus
- Us to be what God has created us to be
- What will happen after May 18th
- The possible sale of our house
- Unspoken Request
~Momma B
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